You may have heard “Do Good and Good Will Come To You” , “For It’s In Giving That We Receive” and similar philosophy that encourage you to give so that good things come to you. You may have tried hard doing so. Donations, charity works, offering help and on a more abstract level giving joy, smiles, and a helping hand to those in need. And yet, you end up frustrated as, you’ve given so much and for so long and yet you received nothing back from life itself.
So what has gone wrong here?
The Missing Element : EXPECTATION
You probably have been doing the right thing, except that these wise sayings has missed out one magic word : WITHOUT EXPECTATION. The key thing to the miracle of giving is to Give Without Expectation.
We know we are giving from the heart and for the benefits of others. But at the same time, we also realize of the fact that by doing good we will receive good. It is precisely that having this thought when we are in the act of giving that gives rise to a tiny element of selfishness. This diminished or sometimes totally eradicate the effect of life giving back to us. This is giving with your heart, but with a little of your brain interfering.
Giving Without Expectation, Giving With Your Heart
How To Give With Your Heart – Without Expectation
It takes practice to be able to give unconditionally from the heart. Here’s a few way :
1. Give non-monetary item. Because most of our dealings with money is associated with benefits in our daily life, it is best to avoid giving in the form of money during the initial stage. Instead, try volunteering your time to help others or give necessities to those in need. This will minimise the trigger of associating the act of giving to expecting. This also helps you relate more to their plight at an emotional level.
2. Be mindful – This involves more of mindfulness practice where we are aware of our thought and emotion during the act of giving. Also you can try to focus on wishing for the well being of the recipients and think of what other things you can do for them. This should actively keep any selfish thought at bay.
3. Feel the joy – When you are able to give selflessly without any expectation of reward, you will feel a sense of joy that is unique and very different from the happiness associated with material rewards. This joy gives satisfaction to your spiritual self. When you have felt this joy of giving, use it to further empower you to give more. You will then enjoy the act of giving, and it is at this moment, life will start giving you back. But perhaps at this moment, you may have realize the pure joy of giving is in fact the greatest reward you have given yourself.
Do you enjoy giving and helping those in needs? Do share your experience with me.
great site:)) good job:)) Wouldn’t be nice if people would do more things for each other without expectation? i think it would be a better world:)) once again interesting site and i am looking to read more as it develops:)
cristina
Hi Cristina,
Thank you. Definitely it would be a better world if people give without expectation. I believe that everyone has the ability to do so. Only it takes the determination and wisdom that soften the hearts. It is achievable and the joy you felt in the act of giving is often the best reward in itself. Thank you for your support and I will definitely be adding more contents related to my own experience and belief.
Hi Kenny Lee
I loved this post, thank you.
I give regularly in the way that I am an alcoholic and an addict, 7 years in recovery. I regularly meet up with other addicts that are struggling and their families to try and help others get clean.
I work the 12 step program of AA and NA. The way that we are taught to give is that we can only keep what we have (sobriety) by giving it away 🙂
Another way of looking at it for me is that I have already received. I am already clean because others gave of themselves to help me. So I am giving away what I have already received.
I enjoy helping others and I think if one helps with the right mindset it is good for the soul!
Hi Lynne,
I am proud of you that you have the determination and persevere in recovering from your alcoholic issue. And what even impress me is that you also give out to others in the process. The misconception people have about giving is that they have to have abundance before they can give back.
I believe we can start giving back as soon as we have something to offer, a ray of smile, shoulder to cry on, listening ears. Giving and growing comes hand in hand. I’m glad you see it that way too. Well done!!
Awesome! I love the post. Well put together and the image match exactly what you were talking about.